Spring 2021

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N inty-two percent of teens go online daily, according to
the 2015 Pew Report Teens, Social Media, & Technology.
While the number of teens online isn’t surprising, I am
somewhat taken aback by the disconnect there seems to bewhen
it comes to understanding our teens and their views of social me-
dia. I see so many articles on parenting teens written from a per-
spective where we should parent more tightly. Or, more alarm-
ing, posts where a parent is publicly shaming their teen. These
show that, as parents, we are failing miserably when it comes to
connecting with our kids. If we want our kids to become respon-
sible digital citizens, doesn’t guiding kids through social media
make more sense than sheltering them from all of it? After all, we
don’t throw our kids into the pool or put them behind the dirver’s
wheel of a car without some basic understanding of safety. The
key word here is “guiding.” I love this definition of “guide” found in
Guide: One who serves as a model for others, as in a
course of conduct.
If we are to guide our kids as they enter the world of social me-
dia we need to be a positive role model, understand the role that
socil media plays in their lives, and maintain a safe space where
they can come to us when they are upset, discouraged or fearful.
Finally, we need to listen to what our kids have to say about social
media a bit more so we can better offer boundaries and guidance
with love and grace.
Here are 5 Things Teens Wish Parents Would Understand About
Social Media:
Social media is our “public space.”
Think back to when you were in high school. It’s probably easy
to recall the popular hangout spot for you and your friends. I was
a teen in the late 80’s; for my friends, it was the mall or the mov-
ies. High school sporting events were also huge hangouts. Our
parents might have dropped us off at the mall or at the movie
theater; but they gave us our space with friends. They monitored
while giving us a place to interact with our peers.
Many malls no longer allow groups of teenagers to gather. The
same holds true for many other venues. Like it or not, changes in
our world have made this the case. At the same time, social media
has given teens a place to gather. It’s now become their popular
hangout spot. As parents, we need to recognize this. We can and
shouldmonitor, but we can give our teens space with their friends
without always inserting ourselves into that space.
5 Things Teens
Wish Parents
Would Understand
About Social Media
BY LEAH NIEMAN | 2021 CONFERENCE SPEAKER