Spring 2018

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16
My kids’ friend, Tressa, was coming over. The
house was a mess, but we had a packed day,
and there was no time to clean it before she
came. I mentionedmy concern to one of my daughters,
and she said, “Oh, Mom, don’t worry. It’s just Tressa!”
This reminder that Tressa would continue to love our
family, in spite of the condition of our house, put my
mind at ease. This same reason is why we love having
Tressa in our home and think of her as one of our fam-
ily.
My friend, Amy, was coming over and was going to
use the desktop computer in our basement. Our base-
ment has 22 years of stored junk down there. (I am
slowly working on it.) At first I stressed about having
her see our basement, but then I realized that it was
“just Amy,” and I stopped worrying about it. I knew she
would continue to love me no matter what the condi-
tion of my basement. I would not be less in her eyes
because of this.
Recently I went as a chaperone to an advanced
survival event with three of my kids. Two of my mom
friends — Karen and Donna — went too. Before the
trip I realized that Karen and Donna would see me at
my worst—sleep deprived, not having showered, un-
washed hair, and probably struggling greatly with the
“roughing it” part of the whole experience. In spite
of my missionary kid upbringing, I have lost much of
my ability to handle the lack of showers and soft bed.
Karen and Donna were more experienced and com-
fortable with roughing it. I feared that seeing me in my
most vulnerable state would cause them to think less
of me. But the Lord reminded me that these friends
have been nothing but supportive and accepting from
the time I met them. I realized, “It’s okay. It’s just Karen
and Donna. They love me in spite of my shortcomings.”
I knew that they would accept and love me no mat-
ter how successful (or unsuccessful) the experience
turned out to be. It was one of the best weeks of my
life in large part because of these two gracious women.
They encouraged me when I was struggling, gave me
tips on keeping warm at night, and not once were they
scornful of my inexperience. We came through the
week unshowered, cold, and sleep deprived, and yet
both of these dear ladies are closer friends than ever.
A friend stopped by to drop something off right af-
ter she had been working out at the gym. She was in
her workout clothes and had obviously just exercised
very hard. She said, “I thought about going home and
showering before I came by, but then I realized, ‘It’s just
Kim, and she won’t care.’” I can’t tell you how it warmed
my heart that she saw me as “just Kim.”
I want to be a “just”woman. I do not mean this in the
sense of being a woman of justice, though I do hope to
A Just Woman
BY KIM STILWELL