Fall 2020

17 / 28

FALL 2020 HOMESCHOOL IOWA 17
them afraid in the past may help them deal with current ones.
When your child is afraid, patience and calmness is essential. Showing frustration or impa-
tience does nothing to help them conquer their fears.Even when we are scared ourselves, we
must remain calm for the sake of our child. I think God gives us moms an extra measure of
grace to stay calm during crisis or danger. However, when a child comes and wakes you up
for the fifth time in one night because of that scary noise out their window (which you had
already explained was a small branch hitting the side of the house) or they become hysterical
every time they needed to use an automatically flushing toilet, it is easy to become impatient
and frustrated. Be firm if you need to, but remain calm. Explain to them yet again that they are
perfectly safe in the particular situation (assuming they are), and pray with them. If possible,
show them that everything is okay. For example, in the branch-hitting-the-side-of-the-house
situation, shine a flashlight out the window so they can see the branch banging against the
house. (And then maybe get your husband to trim that particular branch the next day.)
Do not allow your child to use their apprehensions to manipulate you. For example, don’t
let their fear of the dark cause you to let them stay up late. Likewise, do not let their fears get
them out of responsibilities. If they are terrified to play at their piano recital, do not allow
them to get out of it. Encourage them, pray with them, make sure they practice. Reassure
them that all anyone, including God, expects is for them to do their best. And if they happen
tomake a mistake, people will not think less of them. But do not allow them to skip the recital.
There are definite exceptions to this guideline. If they are afraid to go to a specific place or
be with a certain person, there might be a good reason. But if you know they are safe, help
them to conquer their fear instead of giving into it. In the long run, you will be doing them a
huge favor.
It is rare that a child overcomes their fears overnight. It is usually done gradually. As hard as
it may be to hear this, there are times when you can do nothing to ease your children’s fear.
You can pray. You can continue to talk to themand encourage them. You can share verses. You
can teach them songs that will help them not to be afraid. But at times, they will continue to
be anxious for a long time. Ultimately, only Jesus can give them peace. I had one child that
dealt with a particular fear for years. Nothing that Jeff or I did seemed to help her overcome
this. (She tells us now that knowing we were there for her was more help than it felt like at the
time.) Eventually, that particular fear went away, but it was a long hard road.
As moms, we need to ask wisdom from God constantly to help our children work through
their fears. Remember that “this too shall pass.”While their fears seem like a huge deal when
they are going through them (and they are), the seemingly unending dread that your child is
dealing with now will probably seem like a blip on the radar of your active parenting years.
Just tonight I was talking to a couple of my young adult kids about this article, and we were
discussing their childhood fears. Honestly, in some cases, I couldn’t remember who had what
particular fear. I was asking, “Which of you were terrified of worms?” and “Who was it that was
afraid they would go down the drain of the bathtub?” Those fears were hard to deal with at
the time, but now I can’t even remember which of my kids had those fears. So hang in there,
Mama. The odds are very small that they will enter adulthood terrified of automated toilets.
Meanwhile, may God bless you and give you grace as you help your child overcome their fears.
FREE for Homeschool Iowa Members!
Access the planner in the Member Portal
Block schedule, loop schedule, high school plans, book lists, field
trip notes, volunteer hour trackers, and MORE! Print what you need!
GET
YOUR Homeschool P lanner!
Homeschool Iowa|
Month
S
M T S F W T
Monthly Total:
Running Total:
Month
S M T S F W T
Monthly Total:
Running Total:
MonthS M T
S F W T
Monthly Total:
Running Total:
MonthS M T
S F
W
T
Monthly Total:
Running Total:
Month
S M T S F W T
Monthly Total:
Running Total:
Month
S M T S F W T
Monthly Total:
Running Total:
MonthlyAttendance Tracker
Student:
Year:
Grade:
Notes:
Homeschool Iowa|
Mon. _____ Tues. _____ Wed._____ Thurs.
_____ Fri. _____ WeekAt-A-Glance Sat. _____
Sun. _____
Subject
Subject
Subject
Subject
Subject
Subject
Subject
Subject
Homeschool Iowa|
BlockScheduling
6am
7am
8am
9am
10am
11am
Noon
1pm
2pm
3pm
4pm
5pm
6pm
7pm
8pm
9pm
Homeschool Iowa|
LoopSchedulingSubject S M T
S F
T W
Subject
S M
T S F
T W
Homeschool Iowa
|
| AtaGlance
SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY FRIDAY
SATURDAY