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WINTER 2018 HOMESCHOOL IOWA 19
fact, Alissa is one of the few people, besides his siblings, that Jo-
seph feels comfortable teasing.
Our chiropractor, Rob, also happens to be a personal family
friend. Because of Joseph’s custodial job, which includes vacu-
uming, cleaning windows, and other repetitive jobs, his shoul-
der and arm bother him periodically, so he goes to Rob’s office
on a regular basis to be adjusted. Rob always talks to Joseph just
like he talks to the rest of our family. As a result, over the many
chiropractor visits and occasional social times that Joseph has
interacted with Rob, he feels less nervous and much more com-
fortable interacting with Rob than he does with most people.
Though to someone listening in, it would appear that Jo-
seph and Rob’s conversations are small talk, Joseph is actually
very open with him compared to most other people in his life.
Rob usually gets several sentence answers rather than the one-
or two-word answers that most people receive. And, even more
telling, Joseph is so comfortable with Rob that he can usually
respond immediately instead of having to think about how to
respond. Joseph has noticed that Rob treats him as a “normal”
person. One time, after we left Rob’s office, Joseph had a rare
moment of expressing his feelings, showing that he does, in-
deed, know he is “different” when he said, “He talks to me just
like if I am anyone else.” It was obvious that this meant the world
to Joseph.
These are not the only four people who have reached out
to Joseph. Most of my mom’s friends greet him and chat with
him on a regular basis, and other people do as well. Some, how-
ever, feel awkward around him and say nothing, not realizing
that even a simple, “Hi, Joe” would make him feel welcome and
included.
It can be hard to reach out to those who do not respond as we
would like them to react. Personally, I would much rather spend
my time and effort on friendships that feel more two-sided. A
good heart-to-heart talk with a good friend is one of my favorite
things in the world. It is hard to reach out to those who are dif-
ferent. This is true, not only with those who experience special
needs, but also true of those who have personality quirks, are
extremely reserved, have a prickly personality, talk too much
or talk too little. Yet, Jesus reached out to the socially awkward.
And, in our desire to be Christ-like, we should do the same. I am
so thankful for those who take the time to invest in “difficult”
people. At one level or another, we are all “different” and “diffi-
cult,” and we all have moments of being socially awkward. Yet,
God still accepts and loves us.
My husband is such a godly example to me of reaching out
to the hard-to-love. You will often see him chatting with people
who others tend to avoid. Yet, having a son like Joseph has taught
me so much. One of the important lessons I have learned from
having him as my son is to not give up on a relationship just be-
cause the person is hard to reach. I love Joseph as only a mother
can, but God loves him even more than I do. Joseph, and others
like him, are valuable people created in the image of Christ, and
we, ourselves, are blessed when we treat them as such.
Kim and Jeff Stilwell have lived in Des Moines, Iowa, since
1987. They are high school sweethearts who met at a missionary
kid school in Lima, Peru. Jeff and Kim have five precious children
and a daughter-in-love: Joshua & Alissa, Joseph, Josiah, Jessica,
and Jennifer. They are also the happy grandparents of the sweetest
granddaughter in the world, Kate.
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