Fall 2018

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There is no one who is more invested in a child’s life than
their mother. No one, aside from God, loves them more.
No other human on the planet has their best interest at
heart. (This is true of dads as well, but the nurturing role of a
mother is unique.) Yet, sometimes we moms become so busy
with the everyday, practical aspects of mothering that we ne-
glect the most important thing we can do for our children which
is to pray for them.
As a mom, I knowmy children better than anyone. I know their
weaknesses and their strengths. But, as much as I love my chil-
dren, I do not know everything about their hearts and minds. It
is good to ask our children directly how we can pray for them.
I have learned so much about
my children, both their joys and
sorrows, by asking specific ques-
tions over the years.
When you ask these questions,
be prepared for answers that
may surprise you. Be prepared to
feel hurt from time to time. But,
most of all, listen and show no
shock or judgement. Show only
love and concern. It is a gift if your child chooses to open up
to you. They do not have to do so. When they respond to your
lovingly expressed questions, it is not the time for correction or
instruction. Please don’t misunderstand me. There is definitely a
time for correction and instruction. But it is not at this time. As
they share their hearts with you, your only response should be
to listen, love, encourage, and assure them of your prayers. Many
times, especially as our children get older, they know the Biblical
response to their struggles. They just need to talk it through with
someone who is there to listen and encourage. I think it goes
without saying that, with the exception of our husbands, we
should keep what they share with us in confidence. (I do have
a couple of dear friends who love my children and know how
to keep things private, and a couple of my children have given
me their permission and blessing to share most of their strug-
gles with these friends. In fact, it encourages them to know my
friends are praying for them. But I would not share without their
permission.) Here are some questions that I will periodically ask
my children.
1) How can I specifically pray for you?
2) What is the nicest thing about your life right now?
3) What is the hardest thing about your life right now (perhaps
something out of their control)?
4) What is your biggest personal struggle right now (perhaps
an attitude and/or sin struggle)?
5) How is your relationship with God right now?
6) What is your biggest relationship problem right now?
7) If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
(This doesn’t necessarily mean we should change it, but it gives
us an opportunity to either explain why we have chosen to do
that particular thing, or if the child is correct, to work on correct-
ing our own character flaws. This is by far the most humbling
question to ask! I will be honest and say that I do not ask this
question very often!)
I have compiled a list of 31 ways to pray for my children. Some
of the things on the list are original with me; some I copied from
others. Each day I pray for all my children concerning the one
that coincides with that day of the month. Here is my list.
1) That they will accept Christ as their Savior.
2) For their future spouse or for contentment in being single,
whichever the Lord has for them.
3) That their identity would be in Christ.
4) That they will not have a fear of man but will desire only to
please God.
5) That they will be like Daniel
and Esther, having the courage
to stay strong and stand against
the culture when the culture
does not honor or please God.
6) That they will have self-con-
trol and self-discipline.
7) That they will be humble.
8) That they will be kind and
compassionate.
9) That they will have a grateful and content spirit.
10) That they will have godly friends who point them to Christ.
11) That they will have godly adults in their lives who point
them to Christ.
12) That they will be caught when guilty.
13) That their minds will be pure.
14) That they will understand that people will disappoint
them, but that they should love them anyway. That they will re-
alize that only God will never let us down.
15) That their eyes will be protected from seeing evil.
16) That they will not have idols, even idols that can appear to
be good.
17) That they will be in God’s Word daily.
18) That they will be obedient to authority.
19) That they will have wisdom and discernment.
20) That trials will draw them closer to the Lord and not make
them bitter.
21) That they will be wisely generous with their time, talents,
money and material possessions.
22) That they will be a godly example to others.
23) That they will desire only what truly matters.
24) That God will keep them safe.
25) That they will use their tongue for kindness and not harm.
26) That they will be others-oriented.
27) For their future.
28) For a sense of purpose
29) For their relationships
30) For purity
31) For their health
On a practical level, if you are struggling with the details of
“...we must be as diligent to pray for
our compliant children as we are
for our more stubborn children.”
Prayer Warriors for Our Children
BY KIM STILWELL