Winter 2017b

HOMESCHOOLIOWA.ORG

s a child I was known as “highly talented.” I was one of

those kids that was pretty good at most anything and

picked up on new skills rather quickly. I often was asked

and expected to perform at every turn. It created in me confi-

dence in some ways but in others, it created more of a perfec-

tionistic performer mentality. As I got older, and some things

became more difficult to learn and do, it became more difficult

to “perform” to the standard that was expected.

I believed that what was needed of me to be accepted and

loved was to attain perfection. And of course, perfection was

only attainable by Jesus Christ. I began to be defeated under the

weight of failing to perform to such standards of perfection, and

rejection became my new identity. In order to avoid the nega-

tive feelings that come with rejection

and failure, I became content with be-

coming a wallflower and seeking me-

diocrity - in being “just good enough.”

If I wasn’t outstanding in much, then

I wasn’t noticeable and, therefore, re-

jectable.

In the last several years, God has

started a good work in me - teaching

me to be humble rather than down-

cast. To enjoy doing things well, but learning not to hang my

identity and acceptance on what people think or say about what

I’ve done. To strive for excellence rather than unattainable per-

fection or contentment with mediocrity.

One of the ways He has shown this to me is through my son.

My middle child, David, is very similar to me. He has always got-

ten things much easier than others his same age - reading at age

3, doing first-grade work at age 4. Today he’s age 8 and doing

mostly fifth-grade work right along with his 10-year-old sister.

I’ve grown to expect a lot out of him. Yet, like me when I was

young, he’s started to hit a point in his life and learning

process where things aren’t coming quite so easy

anymore. Spelling words are a bit more diffi-

cult, math and english too. History is more

reading and a bit less creative play. And in

general, chores and responsibilities are

increasing in number and in difficulty.

One day, as I was struggling to get

through to him and his poor attitude

about his lack of effort in doing bet-

ter, a question was posed to my mind.

“Are you asking for excellence or per-

fection?” I paused in mid-discipline

and thought for a moment. As my

son stared at me, I could see his tender

heart behind his frustrated glare. I could see myself - 8 years old,

feeling defeated, unloved and unaccepted. I looked into his eyes

and told him how much I loved him. Asked him if he thought I

was asking him to be perfect. And as he replied with a tearful

“Yes,” the little girl in me began to cry a little too. I asked him

to forgive me for not giving him a clear picture of the Gospel.

Reminding him and me that our acceptance isn’t ultimately in

what we do, but in what Christ has already done. And because

of what He has done, we are called and freed to strive for excel-

lence instead of perfection. We are called to do all that we can do

to the best of our ability and for the glory of God. If we try and

skate by with little effort in life and do the bare minimum to get

by, is that bringing glory to God? No matter how well my son or I

do in life, we are never more accepted

and loved than we are right now; but

will our lives point to God along the

way so that other’s can see His good-

ness and glory in the gifts and talents

He has give us to use?

This moment changed the dialogue

between our hearts. And moments

like this is why we homeschool. It’s

not just to teach the “Three Rs,” but to

disciple our children’s hearts and minds and daily remind them

(and ourselves) of the Gospel and not just American morality.

My son still struggles with attitude and striving for excel-

lence rather than trying to rush and be done so he can move on

to something else. (He’s 8, I expect that.) But the dialogue has

changed. He doesn’t feel crushed under the weight of my criti-

cism, because it’s sandwiched in by the truth of the Gospel - that

I love him and accept him, and so does God because of Jesus. Yet

we are still called to strive for excellence so that others can see

God’s goodness, and experience that same love and acceptance

and freedom to be excellent and not perfect.

So I say all this to ask: Does this resonate with you? Are you re-

membering the Gospel in your own heart? Are you expect-

ing excellence or perfection from yourself? From your

spouse? From your kids? Co-op? Church? The list could

go on and on. Are you living under a freedom of accep-

tance and grace of Jesus Christ, or are you modeling a

life full of fear of rejection and a desire for unattain-

able perfection? I pray that we all can remember the

truth of God’s amazing grace. And may that improve

us all to strive for excellence for our good, the good

of others, and His great glory.

Natalie and her husband, Cory, have been blessed with 10 years of mar-

riage and three children. She has helped to create a successful local home-

school co-op and homeschool curriculum library

Excellence or Perfection?What Are You Expecting?

BY NATALIE SCHNECKLOTH

“..moments like this are why we

homeschool. It’s not just to teach

the ‘Three Rs’ but to disciple our

children’s hearts and minds...”