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SUMMER 2016
HOMESCHOOL IOWA 17
priority. Marriage is your most important
human relationship. This is something
that is easy to know in our heads, but of-
ten hard to put into practice, especially
when you have a baby. Practically speak-
ing, when your child is very small, there
will be times your husband may need to
take a very temporary back seat. It is hard
to gaze romantically into your husband’s
eyes if the baby is screaming from hunger.
However, as the child grows, help him to
learn that “Daddy comes first.” Children
feel much more secure when they know
that their parents love each other and that
nothing comes between Daddy and Mom-
my, not even them.
What I am about to say now is politi-
cally incorrect, but I believe it is biblically
correct. If your husband doesn’t want to
handle a parenting situation exactly like
you would, submit to how he would han-
dle it, provided his approach is not unbib-
lical. Obviously, it is fine to lovingly com-
municate your opinions, but if you can’t
reach an agreement, do it his way. Even if
it is not the “best” way to do it, it does
far more damage to your family and mar-
riage if you contradict how his conscience
leads him than it does to have your way.
Children are far more secure if they know
nothing comes between daddy and mom-
my, not even them.
Teach your children to love and respect
their daddy. Talk about him throughout
the day. Never say anything negative to
your children about their father. Have
daddy’s arrival be the highlight of the day.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter in the least
how smart, athletic, musical, or creative
your child is. Whether your child reads at
four or starts reading at nine won’t impact
the big picture of his life. What truly mat-
ters is that you teach him from an early age
to apply this verse to his life:
“Love the Lord your God with all your
heart, with all your soul, with all your
strength, and with all your mind; and your
neighbor as yourself ” (Luke 10:27).
If your child can do that, he will have
everything that matters in light of eternity.
Kim Stilwell
has been married to her best
friend, Jeff, since 1987. They have five
children: Joshua (married to Alissa), Joseph
(20), Josiah (18), Jessica (17), and Jennifer
(14). They live in Des Moines and have
always homeschooled.
From a
Mother’s
Heart
Do, however, sweat the big stuff. Be like
Timothy’s mother, Eunice. Scripture does
not tell us a lot about her, but we do know
that she instilled God’s Word in Timo-
thy’s heart, because Paul talks about this
in I Timothy. Teaching your child God’s
Word, helping them memorize Scripture,
praying with them and for them ... these
will be the most important things you can
ever do as a parent.
You won’t get everything done! There
will always be more things to accomplish
than there are hours in the day. It is easy to
be a Martha instead of a Mary. However,
this is a time when you need to be in God’s
Word and prayer more than ever. It is bet-
ter to go to bed with a sink full of dishes,
than to not have spent any time in God’s
Word and prayer that day. When you are
feeding your baby, you can read the Bible
aloud to him. You can keep your Bible in
a place where it is easy to reach it and read
a verse every now and then throughout the
day. Then meditate on that verse as you go
about your duties. Pray throughout the
day: as you change the baby’s diaper, as
you do the dishes, as you clean your house.
Having children can put a strain on even
the best of marriages. People have a hard
time believing this because we were mar-
ried for nearly five years before we had a
living child, but Jeff and I did not have a
serious disagreement until we were par-
ents. Part of it might have been our per-
sonalities, but I think a lot of it was that
day-to-day life just isn’t quite as stressful
without children. My children are a huge
blessing, and I am so thankful for them
and would not trade them for anything!
Having young children is a lot of work.
You lose sleep. You and your husband may
not always agree on the best way to handle
each situation that comes up. I was not
prepared for this at all, and it really threw
me when Jeff and I had our first major
disagreement when our oldest was a few
weeks old.
Make sure that your marriage is your top